RNVR Cricket Club

Scorecard

Reigate Pilgrims CC v RNVR Cricket Club on Sun 18 Jun 2023 at 11.30am
Match was Drawn Rain ruined a run chase

Match report It’s Donald – but not as we know it…

Folklore dictates that Donald Rumsfeld ‘invented’ the idiotic maxim of the ‘unknown unknowns’. I have it on reasonable authority it wasn’t him, call it an ‘unknown known’ if you like but for the purposes of this report let’s also call it irrelevant. I also doubt many a match report has led quoting an American defence secretary although for the record the captain of the day, Messer Mostyn S, is an ex-club secretary. There the similarities end.

In the sweeping folds of the North Downs lies a well-known, known – Reigate Pilgrims CC. Here you can expect the expected:

1. Car park merges seamlessly into outfield which merges seamlessly into cricket pitch. Never the two shall meet.
2. Clubhouse survives on several coats of Millie Vacher’s paint. Only the newly refurbished ‘Ladies’ toilet belies this Favelas façade. Let’s hope the tabloids don’t get wind given the ECB’s report on equality in cricket. Equality is only in the eye of the beholder… (I was so pleased with this I googled it but Linda Grant [yeah, I had no idea too] got there first).
3. Curry is served for lunch. No vegetarian options (see equality). Shots taken (of the liquid variety, none played before lunch) akin to a freshers' week disgusting drinks competition. Nothing in the ‘driving’ calibre.
4. Ground is possibly most difficult in the world to field on – think Vis, but in the dark.
5. Real game starts at 6.30. Unless it rains (which it did).

2023 marked 25 years. In the absence of Professor Yaffle, only Burgess and Vacher bookended it, but the former's dismissal had something of the teary eyed about it, albeit stumped, exhausted, at nearly 68, is worth a scorecard entry. It was Vacher’s 199th and despite it raining further cricket balls on Tex’s head he did manage to hold on to one in the dreaded ‘dog hostel dip’ to secure a 200th.

Of course, many will point to the ‘known unknowns’ of the lost years (’92-’93), and that this probably wasn’t his 200th wicket and neither was it my 250th game but again, as they say in journalism, never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

267 was probably a lot to chase and at 2 down the rain came before we could find out. You could argue we had quite a ‘deep’ batting line up. After fielding for nearly 60 overs at our age I can tell you most of us were knackered not least Ben Dale (smiter of Ditchling see eyes passim 2022) who bowled 15, rather splendid, overs.

After speeches and tales of daring-do in the opposition changing room and more disgusting drinks, Vacher retired to sleep comfortably on the roof of the Landy dreaming of wickets and runs spanning 4 decades, moose at the ready should Hillman arrive late and want his bed back. I haven’t a Donald of an idea what the future holds, and neither does Donald but what I do know is what I know, if you get my drift. It’s just the rest of you will have to figure it out….

Paul Ford, Henfield 2023

Reigate Pilgrims CC Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
2w 11b 2lb 
for 3 wickets
15
263 (58.2 overs)		     
S Burgess st  Ford b Vacher 67 9
R Janardanan b  Dale 70 14
W Hodgson Not Out  83 8 4
C Watson ct  Warnes b Vacher 25 1 2
R Burnside Not Out  3
D Kanagarajah  
P Saikia  
G Mitchell  
M Wood  
B Sugamar  
M Nicholls  

RNVR Cricket Club RNVR CC Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Vinay Kumar10.032800.002.80
Tex Warnes8.06600.000.75
Ben Dale15.0449149.003.27
Ed Hewens8.004800.006.00
Alex Beard5.012700.005.40
Robert Paterson6.202800.004.42
Piers Vacher6.0054227.009.00

RNVR Cricket Club RNVR CC Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
extras
TOTAL :
1w 1b  
for 2 wickets
2
38		        
Douglas Porter Not Out  9 1
Rob Eason b  Burnside 4 1
Ed Hewens ct  c&b Burnside 0
Robert Paterson Not Out  23 5
Vinay Kumar  
Tim Hardman  
Alex Beard  
Tex Warnes   1
Ben Dale  
Paul Ford   1
Piers Vacher  

Reigate Pilgrims CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
M Wood6.011700.002.83
R Burnside5.0020210.004.00