RNVR Cricket Club

Scorecard

Rottingdean CC v RNVR Cricket Club on Mon 04 Aug 2014 at 14.00
RNVR Cricket Club Lost by 5 wickets

Match report as promised Speedy's tour diary.......

Speedy’s Diary - Sussex 2014

10 am: Get out of bed and get locked out, in the knack. Fordy thinks its funny to lock the kitchen door when I’m out looking for my towel, which Ninian has hidden the night before. I got the short straw there, but the octogenarian living next door spotted me sprinting up the garden path, so I might be in there.

10.30am: Head to dining room for breakfast. Wait in the fried egg queue. Realise I'm behind Bill and Roland. By the time I get sat down at the table, there are only a few of Skipper’s dog biscuits left, so I have those. They're the ones he regurgitated last night. I don't really like those ones, to be honest.

11am: Pop out to the newsagent's to pick up the Times and those filthy tabloid rags that Julian likes reading. The lady behind the counter tells me they haven't got any today because the delivery van burst into flames during the Sussex heat wave. I ask if heat waves are common in Sussex. She says, "Not really, only in the Summer’’. Decide to buy a lottery ticket instead. Have to pick four numbers. I plump for 0-47, 0-32, 0-26 and 13. I'm pretty confident they'll turn out to be lucky for me.

12am: Share a lift to the ground with Crichton. I offer to buy the fuel because he claims he's spent all his money on the Cidre Monsters car. He didn't tell me he had an empty tank and then he takes the long way round to Rottingdean as he always gets lost in Sussex. Cost me a fortune. Oh well.

12.45pm: Eventually get to the Plough and sit down to enjoy my lunch. Barman tells me there’s only Haddock left on the menu, unless I plump for soup of the day. I’m not sure what Gambas is, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.

1.58pm: Wake up in the Royal Sussex Hospital on a drip. My face also seems to be a bit swollen. Crichton gives me a lift back to the ground as he’s not playing today. Have to listen to his batting tips all the way there. Still, I’ll probably open the batting tomorrow at Barcombe and I can show him what for there. When we arrive Fordy hands me a piece of paper the neighbour gave him before we left this morning. Things could be looking up, I think to myself as I head to the changing room and get into my whites. I put on my lucky gold nipple piercing (it has an inscription of my hero, me, inscribed on it). I should be focusing on the game, of course, but I can't resist having a quick look at the bit of paper Fordy gave me: "You have a c**k the size of a maggot – if you're going to streak, do it somewhere else." Bit disappointing.

2.20pm: I get into quite a nice groove. I'm bowling well and find the edge of Ledden’s bat. Fergy drops it. He says he was distracted by a bush fire getting very close to where Rob’s fielding, down near the Lewes road.

2.40pm: I keep on coming in and take 4 quick wickets. I’m also on a hat trick. Suddenly a note comes out from the pavilion and I’m immediately taken off. I appeal to Rupert, but he he’s so tired he can’t speak. I can't believe it. At the end of the over he apologises and says he wanted to bowl me through but we have to make a game of it. Tough on me, but in hindsight agree he made the right call as my face feels like it starting to swell again, along with my hands and feet.

5.01pm: Back on to bowl. Rottingdean are now 373-4. Want to put Rob down at long on but nobody’s seen him through the smoke. Fergy says he can't stand there because Catherine didn’t pack his fireproof jock strap and he’s not fielding there without it. No long on, then.

5.02pm: The other Ledden hits the ball in the air again. I think you know where it went.

5.15pm: As I walk in for tea the crowd gives me some nice applause. I meet Graham Wyles in the pavilion and he tells me that's the same way people used to applaud him for his bowling at Rottingdean. Can't remember how he did, but I feel very encouraged.

5.30pm: Tea. Pretty hungry. Bill got there first again. Only prawn sandwiches left. Give Bill one of my looks.

7.45pm: After opening the batting I’m still unbeaten on 3. Ninian’s got 138 at the other end but we are 200 short. Still, I’m sure Rupert will be happy with me.

9pm: Get back to Hurstpierpoint. Switch on TV to find the lottery draw is about to start. Don't expect I'll win after my bad luck today, but it's worth a go. I can't believe it as the numbers are read out: 47... 32... 26... 13. Incredible! I've only gone and won. I show Rupert the winning ticket. "That's for tomorrow night's draw and by the way you are never opening again for this club" he says. I go to bed. It's a young man’s game.


On Thursday, 7 August 2014, at 11:30, Dr Paul Ford added

Dear All
No doubt many of you are at work today or for those of you in Manchester - getting wet. Shame the game is not at the county ground in Hove where the spectators are being bitten by rattlesnakes and cacti being removed from the outfield......
I cannot remember being this tired, ever. I need to sleep for a year, or better drop dead now and sleep forever.
To remind me of tour Roland has kindly left his size 10 leather boats which the Ford's are thinking of taking on a sailing holiday other than they have holes in them and we will sink. I also have his swimming shorts which can be used as a sail and Rupert's pump for the deflating 'blow-down' bed.
Try a mat on the kitchen floor, it's much less comfortable.
I'm pleased to report the neighbours have moved back in. Until next year.
ex-skipper Ford.

RNVR Cricket Club RNVR CC Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
4nb 11w 2b 4lb 
for 5 wickets
21
209		        
Tim Hardman b E Swinward 18 4
Steve Ferguson b C Turner 59 9
Bill Allen ct R Thornton 35 6 1
Julian Staples b R Thornton 0
Paul Ford Not Out  42 7 1 1
Rupert Vaughan ct R Swinsco 29 1 4
Roland Wood Not Out  1
Atif Khan  
Edward Crichton  
Rob Hayward   1
Bertie Miskin  

Rottingdean CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
C Turner9.0420120.002.22
C Wellebank8.04900.001.13
E Swinward7.0052152.007.43
R Thornton7.0123211.503.29
G Harris5.003200.006.40
Betsworth3.001000.003.33
K Rodgers3.001800.006.00
B Larder3.00900.003.00
R Swinsco1.0028128.0028.00

Rottingdean CC Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
1nb 13w 2b  
for 5 wickets
16
213 (25.3 overs)		     
M Grantham Retired Out  100
Rafique st P Ford b R Miskin 45
K Rogers ct P Ford b R Miskin 20
R Thornton b E Crichton 15
O Guy Not Out  12
B Larder ct R Hayward b E Crichton 1
G Harris Not Out  4
D Becksworth  
E Swinn-Ward  
C Wellebanks  
C Turner  

RNVR Cricket Club RNVR CC Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Rob Hayward5.003800.007.60
Atif Khan5.003900.007.80
Roland Wood4.004100.0010.25
Rupert Vaughan3.011900.006.33
Bertie Miskin3.0022211.007.33
Tim Hardman2.001700.008.50
Julian Staples2.302800.0011.20
Edward Crichton1.00723.507.00