RNVR Cricket Club

Scorecard

Hit or Miss CC v RNVR Cricket Club on Sun 21 Aug 2011 at 14:00
RNVR Cricket Club Won 48 runs

Match report Hit or Miss vs. RNVR 21st August 2011


RNVR 185-8 (Liddell 101)
Hit or Miss 137 all out (Junior 7-40)

RNVR WIN BY 48 RUNS

I'm a Brigadier and a Damn Good Swimmer To Boot!

I'd just finished putting the last coat of brasso on the George Rope Trophy (one more podium finish this year and surely the Otters Swimming Club Open Water Cup will be mine again!), when I realised the time so hot footed round to the Ruperts' quarters, it'll be fine I thought, after a day at the Test they'll never be up. Much to my surprise both Crichton and Hardman were up and waiting, twittering away like a couple of Wrens. I don't know why I bother with these naval types they can't even provide decent transport, I mean a Ford Ka it's hardly a Centurion is it? That combined with the MS Dhoni sympathy curry that my comrades had chosen to consume the previous evening, in the hopes that it might give them the runs (fat chance), certainly made for an interesting journey down to the battlefields of Penn Street. Unfortunately the MS Dhoni started to take effect earlier than strictly necessary and the Ford Ka quickly began to feel like Belsen, no place for a man of my rank, where's that Centurion?!

On arrival at the Hit or Miss we were to meet our first foe, I had to reprimand Crichton for attempting to combat the onslaught of wasps armed only with a wooden spoon. We then lurched to our next disaster as Skipper Vaughan amassed his ranks and it soon became apparent that we had a extra vessel, bloody Navy can't organise a thing! - Fergie was duly dispatched on the long sail back to the safe waters of St Albans.

Toss won Skipper Vaughan decided to insert us on a wicket reminiscent of the battlefields of the Somme, Senior digging a trench any infantryman would've been proud of when simply taking guard. I was relieved to see the only other proper military man in the team observing protocol and not entering the dressing room whilst I changed, the rest of the team put it down to his finishing lunch with family, he and I know that this was a simple case of my pulling rank. This had the effect of elevating Crichton far too high up the pecking order to number 3 (certain nose bleed territory for a man who usually cowers in the middle order - ha!). He was to get his come uppance too as the hapless Hardman had indeed got rid of his runs in the car and attempted his Eoin Morgan (Catherine will be proud) in the second over skying out for 1. This brought Crichton and Senior together to try and build 'a Daddy partnership' - their scampering however was undone by an arm like an M203 grenade launcher (Daddy partnership indeed - babies!) Senior run out for 15.

This brought the Major to the wicket and finally a bit of sanity to the fore! The Major was magnificent, determined to make amends for a lacklustre tour and entertain his fair maiden, Mother and Grandparents (What's Anthony on 178?). Unsurprisingly, Crichton couldn't stay with him and chopped Sklenar on for 22. The New Zealand navy joined the party resplendent in the infamous Black Kiwi pads, however was to be undone by the Scottish trigger, surely JuJu was mistaken and simply practising his casting at the time, as it's a brave man to give big Glen out LBW for 6! I myself was then called into battle, I graciously allowed the lesser ranked player to reach his fifty in my company before being thrown what can only be described as a Barnes Wallis, I ask you the thing knocked out the woodlouse nibbling at the bottom of my middle stump (certainly not cricket in my book, think I'll stick to open water swimming - I'm a damn good swimmer you know). Juju came and went another victim of the dastardly straight one, which brought Skipper Vaughan into the fray. As is his want the good skipper threw his bat at the ball and almost managed to match the good Major's strike rate, (how dare a mere civvie, does the man know no better?), so the Major did the only honourable thing and saved face by running the skip out (Serves him right, back to civvie street for you son!). This brought the club 'almost/nearly/I could have been' pro to the crease, no danger of Speedman challenging the strike rate. Having watched the Major take the applause (finally a Centurion I've been waiting for one of those all day!) , Speedman decided it was time for him to take the limelight and ran him out for 101, 'prehaps prep school wickets are shorter' the pro was heard to mutter! In the next 14 balls Speedman went on to make an effortless 4 not out, joined by Junior who contributed 6 not out in the two balls he was allowed to face. Innings closed 185 for 8 with the old Hit or Miss warriors and constant scourges of RNVR, Sklenar taking 12-3-39-1, and Clarke 8-0-35-2.

Post tea the Navy took to the field, the terrifying sight of Speedo storming in from bottom end had the Hit skipper and fellow city mucker quaking in his boots. The bearded country drummer (I'm in a band don't you know) soon found his Suffolk stride and sent the hapless batsman back to the clink! After nervy start, some tight bowling from said musician, ably supported by Mr Mumford, like the pitch, the early wickets dried up and Crampsie and Jones began to build a fourth wicket partnership of some note, Jones teasing the field with some skiers (he'd obviously read the blog and realised that this side couldn't catch a cold). This was no better illustrated by Honest Tim, in his regular fielding position on deep mid off, deciding that as the ball was hit with some force, his forehead was harder than his hands so why not use this to help it on its way to the boundary, the crack was audible in Portsmouth! Tiger manfully soldiered on, Crampsie needed the physio to come on and kiss his finger better after Jonathan decided that the time for playing nicely was gone (serves him right for hurting the finger earlier dropping a dolly from Crichton). Unperturbed Jones (he of the grenade launcher arm) eased past fifty. Only one thing for it, skipper Vaughan decided, bring on the RNVR's answer to Graham Swann, enter the Cygnet (back in the day I once recall seeing a Cygnet on one of my infamous Thames swims in July, but never in late August swan upping has finished way before then, ridiculous. I'm a damn good swimmer don't you know?).

The left arm loop soon began to take effect and with the manful Maori at the other end, the Hit resistance began to crumble. Time for me to put the Major back in his place I thought taking a wonderful catch in the deep (that showed him, cheeky little turk, see I can catch and swim). Senior was obviously watching, (at least one of this shower pays attention), and for once decided to support his younger brother, by taking a far easier catch than mine. Buoyed with confidence the Cygnet began to spread his infantile wings and much to Speedman's horror the wickets began to tumble, first the prized wicket of Mr Jones, bowled - back to the pavilion for 85. Out stepped Nigel (I retired years ago) only to defend the ball onto his stumps, the musician struck his imagery drum in outfield in disgust, where was the justice?! As Cygnet glided in for the third ball, surely it couldn't be thought the musician I'm the only hat trick taker in this side! A big swipe from the batsman, the ball looped over the man mountain in the slips, the Kiwi Goliath simply turned, outstretched an arm, the ball stuck, Cygnet's wings flapped uncontrollably, was he about to fly for the first time? - HAT TRICK! Jonathan slumped to his knees disconsolate. Crest fallen Hit drifted to 137 all out, dreams of an unbeaten season will have to wait for another year undone by a Major and a baby swan!

Speedman 10-1-33-3, Mumford 9-1-49-0, Cygnet 6.4-1-40-7, Kiwi Glen 5-1-14-0

Back in the Ford Ka with Crichton (the sooner that man's back in his German trench the better!) I decided to get him to drop me off at Battersea Bridge for a quick dip before bedtime and may be one more coat of brasso on the George Rope before lights out...

RNVR Cricket Club RNVR CC Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
8b 4lb 
for 8 wickets
12
189		        
Anthony Massey Run out  15 1
Tim Hardman ct W Barnes 1
Charlie Crichton b S Sklenar 22 2
Anthony Liddell Run out  101 13 2
Glenn Delaney lbw A Clarke 6 1 1
Julian Staples b A Clarke 2
Rupert Vaughan Run out  18
Andy Craig b I Campsie 2 1
Jonathan Speedman Not Out  4 1
James Massey Not Out  6 1
Alex Mumford  

Hit or Miss CC Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Steve Sklenar12.0339139.003.25
W Barnes9.0043143.004.78
Adrian Clarke8.0035217.504.38
P Williams5.002700.005.40
Kelvin Jones4.001400.003.50
ivor Crampsie4.011929.504.75

Hit or Miss CC Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
1w 4b  
for 10 wickets
5
141 (30.4 overs)		     
J Messent b Jonathan Speedman 1
I Crampsie ct Jonathan Speedman 19
K Jones b James Massey 85
P Williams lbw Jonathan Speedman 0
Goodwin lbw James Massey 16
Earl ct James Massey 6
Denyer ct James Massey 0
Bristow b James Massey 0
A Clarke b James Massey 7
W Barnes Not Out  2
S Sklenar b James Massey 0

RNVR Cricket Club RNVR CC Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Jonathan Speedman10.0133311.003.30
Alex Mumford9.014900.005.44
James Massey6.414075.716.00
Glenn Delaney5.011400.002.80